The fear of getting started

I’m back! I’m back on the internet.

I’ve been away, just living life, choosing not to share much online.

To be very honest, I've always found sharing online to be intimidating. There’s something about the internet that feels so permanent, as though what you choose to share would always exist. I’m most afraid that what I post on the internet will always be used as evidence of “me”. When the truth is, I’m always changing and evolving, and maybe I no longer want to be identified with something I had post in the past.

The strangest feeling I felt, when I was posting more consistently last year, was the sense that I had another “self” that was existing on the internet. When I viewed back my vlogs, or read old blog posts, I honestly felt like that’s someone else! I was reading and watching this other person, who’s kind of me, but not entirely me. Isn’t that strange?

But we all know that there are such advantages to the internet: it allows you to connect with people all over the world, people whom you wouldn’t have gotten to meet in real life can now be introduced to you. As an artist, it means that people can see my works no matter where they are in the world.

Personally, I’ve learnt many things from the internet. From books to articles, movies, tv shows, I've had access to so much great art just from the laptop while in my own home. I’ve also watched many YouTube videos, viewed countless Instagram posts, reels… the common scrolling and browsing on social media that many of us do.

Anyway, I’ve decided to share and post as consistently as I can. I’ll come up with some kind of plan for November (how is it already November???). I’ll be as present as I can manage! Right now, my mind is trying to convince me that I’ll be able to: post a weekly Youtube video, write a weekly newsletter/blog post, post a TikTok video every day.

But an exciting update is that: I’ll be working for an art fair here in Singapore!!! I’ll start next Monday. My role is to assist the fair in writing about galleries, artworks, preparing dossiers for collectors and such. I’m really excited about it because I’ve been thinking for a long time that I wish to get more involved with the art world. I’ll like to know more galleries, about other artists, and also meet collectors. I’m excited to get experience firsthand behind the scenes of an art fair.

I’ll be working for them until the end of January, and then I’ll return to Paris. I’m starting to miss Paris so much… When I first returned to Singapore in August, I felt so happy to be back. But now, 3 months in, I’m beginning to be nostalgic about Paris.. I do suffer a little from “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome. But I know that the truth is the grass is greener where you water it! So I shall water the grass in Singapore while I’m here, and next February I’ll be back in Paris :)

Also, you’re currently reading this on my new shop! I’ve had some version of a shop going on for the past year, but I could never quite decide what I want to sell on it. Finally, I decided to list a few of my favourite pieces. If you like any of it, don’t hesitate to get one!

Thank you so much for reading this 😊 I’m trying to overcome my need for perfection and simply just write and post. Similar to my art, I’m telling myself to just draw and share what I’ve made. I’ve to get comfortable sharing with people, whether online or offline. I can’t keep to myself forever!

I hope that you’ll have a great day wherever you are, and thank you so much for reading! I'll be back next week 🤓

P.s. I decided to draw a cartoon to add at the end of each newsletter, like the comics you find in the newspaper. It may or may not be related to the content. But it's just for fun and it makes me smile, so I hope it'll make you smile too!

 

 

 Thank you for being here!

♡, Vina